Wed, 18 September 2013
Director Philippe Martinez made a pretty OK Jean-Claude van Damme movie and an awful movie where Val Kilmer locks people in a sauna, so he’d already be a shoo-in to appear on Why Does It Exist? if his very first movie wasn’t a mindbogglingly terrible semi-satire starring Jerry Springer and Armand Assante. Citizen Verdict is a dizzying, bone-headed exposé of reality television that’s kind of halfway between The Running Man and being so high that everyone in Florida suddenly sprouts garbled South African accents. I’m joined by Floridian Skyler Bing AKA Skyluur Bing AKA Jacques Lutin as we dull our senses with a nonstop barrage of yelling and yellow filters.
Thu, 5 September 2013
The Pacific Connection is the classic tale of a man who has two sticks and an overwhelming desire to whip bad guys in the nards with them. This weirdly enthusiastic Filipino martial-arts movie is a veritable who’s-who of actors who’d do anything for a paycheck (and by that I mean mostly Dean Stockwell) furiously furrowing their brow while a shirtless guy attempts to whack them senseless. It’s almost bad enough to be fun, but also filled with repetitive and mindless fight scenes and a weird blind hippie who stumbles around giving people healing herbs (OK, that last part is pretty cool). Despite being obscure enough that I had to whip out the VCR to watch my copy, it’s actually available in full on YouTube - I’m almost certain that whoever holds the rights to this won’t mind or notice.
Direct download: Why_Does_It_Exist_-_058_-_The_Pacific_Connection.mp3
Category:general -- posted at: 3:34pm EDT